numero 4

2 in 1 day.

"You're the worst brother ever. You're worse than Cain." (because I asked him to make me a sandwich... because I'm sick)

"I don't know what you just said. Your voice sounds like a vagina that's underwater, trying to talk while he is drowning." (again, mockery of the ill effects of illness - my voice is kind of shitty today. but why he is anthropomorphising a vagina and making it male, I do not know)

numero 3

"You look like your name would be Garzo right now. Like your name would be Hector Garzo. Well, I don't know about that, but your name would definitely be Garzo. Sandy Garzo."

numero 2

"We look like bears. I bet people think we are bears."

(so I said, "no they don't.")

"Well, they at least think, 'those are the two biggest, hairiest guys in town - one of them is dressed like he's going to cut grass, the other looks like he's in a ska music video.'"

numero 1

"I'm Daryn Beasley. Won't you join me for a cup of tea?"